The Doboj police recorded a total of 157 victims of domestic violence during fourteen months, namely 113 women and 44 men.
The spokesman of the Doboj Police Administration, Aleksandar Vuković, said that in the period from January of last year to February of this year, they registered a total of 123 reports of domestic violence in Doboj.
– In 118 cases the report was submitted by the victims, while in five cases the report was submitted by other persons – said Vuković.
Systemic family psychotherapist Nebojša Šajinović told Srna that domestic violence is a criminal offense punishable by law, but that in practice there is often no sanction, given that violence is kept silent and transgenerationally, unconsciously adopted pattern, it is transmitted like alcoholism.
– Both the victim and the environment are silent about violence – pointed out Šajinović.
He says that men do not report violence due to shame and condemnation from the environment, while women do not report violence due to fear of the perpetrator and repetition, as well as shame, mistrust and the desire to preserve the family at all costs.
He points out that a girl in whose family the father beat the mother and the grandfather beat the grandmother will look for a person who is not prone to violence as a marriage partner, but at the same time warns that our public “I” is completely different from the unconsciously adopted private “I”.
– We carry ourselves wherever we go. It is very difficult for us to change, and we will not change because of our partner – says Šajinović, and claims that the abuser cannot change his behavior until he realizes that he needs a change, while the victim eventually begins to believe what he is told and accepts it as the truth.
He says that couples during the premarital period only present themselves, and that in the marriage union, especially in moments of pressure, they show their true colors.
When one of the spouses offers the option of counseling with a psychotherapist as a last resort before divorce, he states from his practice that the majority of his clients who do not think they have a problem will not respond to that proposal, and a significantly smaller number will start working on themselves.
He says that traumas are a logical sequence of family violence, where physical and psychological violence is the most dominant, and warns that the victim drastically reduces the quality of his life due to a damaged image of himself, his relationship with others, and due to personal helplessness.
According to him, divorce also occurs because of today’s, according to him, bad value system among young people, which advocates that married couples are individually untouchable entities, which leads to them lacking patience, respect and the will to overcome the problem by talking to each other.
In all these processes, children are aware of what is happening, but most often they are forbidden to talk about it, which is a vicious circle considering that violence at school can be related to family violence, but often also to dysfunctional patterns of behavior in the family.
Educational worker from Doboj, Slavica Marković, says that in practice, the link about the influence of a dysfunctional family on children’s behavior at school has been confirmed.
– Such children, whether they are victims or bullies, are most often not aware that they are making mistakes and they need to be talked to – said Marković, who in the process pointed out the importance of an educator whose timely recognition of problems and response can correct such behavior.
She claims that the dysfunctional behavior of a child, whether he is a victim or a bully, occurs due to a lack of love, empathy and understanding towards him, primarily from his parents.
Marković pointed out the importance of organizing preventive workshops on peer violence already with lower grades in primary schools in order to recognize and react to dysfunctional behavior in children at an early stage, and to warn them that they grow up convinced that this is socially acceptable behavior, she writes Dobojski Info.
